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Your Ultimate Guide to Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Modern Day Edition

Flatlay for wedding invitations
Photography by Lauren Dobish


Figuring out who makes the cut for your wedding guest list could be the hardest part of wedding planning. We have a guide to help you through!


Step 1: Who

Start by jotting down your nearest and dearest: family, friends, and maybe even that neighbor who always waves hello. But remember, there's no need to go overboard. Consider the size of your venue, your budget, and any familial obligations before finalizing your list. Sometimes, a cozy gathering beats a crowded shindig any day.


Step 2: Save the Dates and Soft RSVPs

Once you've got your list in order, think about sending out save-the-date cards with a soft RSVP option. It's like giving your guests a gentle nudge to mark their calendars. This soft RSVP gives you a sneak peek at who's in and who's out, making those seating arrangements a piece of cake.


Now, what about those soft "no" RSVPs? Do you still send formal invites their way? It's a tough call, like choosing between cake and pie. Etiquette says yes, but sometimes, you've got to play it by ear. Some hosts might use these soft "no"s as a chance to dip into the second-tier guest list. A bit sneaky, but hey, it gets the job done.


Step 3: Wording Your Wedding Invitations

Ah, the age-old question of invitation wording—how do you strike the perfect balance?

In one corner, we've got the classic approach, where the bride's parents take the lead as hosts. It's like stepping back in time, where tradition reigns supreme and formality is the name of the game. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company..."—simple, elegant, timeless.


In the modern corner, it's all about inclusivity. Both families share the spotlight, reflecting the collaborative spirit of modern-day unions. "Together with their families, Emily Jane Smith and Paul Johnson..."—a nod to unity, togetherness, and blending families in style.


Of course, there's room for customization. Maybe one set of parents foots the bill, or perhaps the couple takes the reins themselves. Whatever the case, make it your own. After all, it's your day, your love story—so let your invitations reflect the unique journey you're embarking on together.


Wedding Invitation
Photography by Lauren Dobish

Helpful Invitation Notes:

-Black envelopes and white ink must be sorted by hand in the U.S. and could take months to arrive to their destination. Avoid using black envelopes if you can!

-Bring a fully-stuffed invitation to the post office to be measured and weighed to ensure that you have enough postage

-If doing RSVPs by mail, ensure you have pre-stamped the RSVP envelope


We hope you enjoyed your ultimate guide to wedding invitation etiquette. Brent Events can be there for you every step of the planning process. Request more information today!






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